A conversation with my younger brother, Mannat, encouraged me to write about what I like to call The Driver Theory. Mannat (now 24), shared how strange he felt when looking at the “On this day” section on Facebook. “Just in the matter of a few years so many things have changed; the places I went to, the faces in my pictures. Basically, my outlook and priorities,” he said.

Our mid-20s are a metamorphosis of sorts. We’re certainly not children anymore, but we’re not completely ready to be adults either. The experiences we have during these few transformative years help us build an internal compass, one that directs us through the winding roads ahead. While good experiences ground us and give us security, it is the bad ones that work like a sharp knife to provide precise definition.

As young adults we are faced with choices. Our blunt compass, spinning with joy, we enter the adult world not knowing where we’re headed, and often forget where we came from. We chose friends and places and things to do. We’re high on the freedom and acceptance we suddenly feel. Little do we know, that the road ahead will work like a filter, testing the relationships we’ve fostered.

As in any group of individuals, natural leaders emerge. They are reliable in times of need. Always there: to celebrate victories and to mourn losses. They pick you up when you are down and carry you when you are tired. With the sharpest compass, these individuals are drivers. And drivers attract passengers, especially when they are young. This attraction does lead to many broken friendships, people torn apart by the imbalance in their relationships, those faces suddenly gone from your pictures. Regardless, these struggles are part of growing up.

And as you grow you learn to distinguish between those who fuel you and those who are just along for the free ride.

To Mannat: Don’t ever stop being a driver. No matter the cost. Undoubtedly, the world needs more people like you.